“My baby just hates the carrier”
“My baby just doesn’t seem to be comfortable when I try to wear him”
“Every time I put my baby in the carrier she just screams until I get her out”
Let’s be clear: this scenario doesn’t happen to everyone, but it is fairly common. So if this is you, or if you ever find yourself in this situation, please know that you’re not alone!
It can be really upsetting as a parent when you invest in a gorgeous carrier, expecting lots of lovely hands-free cuddles, and then your baby doesn’t even want to go up! You might even be tempted to give up the idea of babywearing entirely… but before you toss your carrier in the trash, we want to reassure you that things are not always how they seem.
If your little one cries as soon as they’re put in the carrier, there are plenty of reasons why this could be happening, and not necessarily because they hate being up!
Hunger
Babies, especially teeny tiny ones, get hungry all the time. Their tummies are small and don’t stay full for long. And they feed for lots of other reasons too, not just hunger. So when they’re suddenly held close to their food source and can smell it (if you’re breastfeeding), but aren’t able to actually feed when they want to, it can be pretty upsetting for them. The best time to put baby up is when their tummies are full and they are likely to be content.
Tiredness
Some babies go to sleep when they’re tired. Other babies tend to stay wide-eyed and get rather cranky instead, and need a bit of help to drift off. If your baby is tired, putting them up in a baby carrier, especially if they’re unfamiliar with it, could frustrate them. When trying new things, it’s ideal to go for times when your baby is more relaxed. Soon you’ll probably find that the carrier actually helps to relax your tired baby so that they can drift off more easily.
Tummy Pain
Little babies can often suffer from tummy pain. Some babies more than others need time to adjust to the world, to their food, and even crying can result in wind and tummy pains. It’s entirely possible that your little one is upset because of this (or even other pains). Come back to the carrier when your little one is more relaxed (new things are not welcome when you’re already not feeling great!). You might even find your baby carrier can help with getting wind up (or down!).
Stress
If you’re a bit stressed or on edge, it’s entirely possible that your little one is sensing it, and as a result, can’t relax in the carrier. Babies can pick up on these things, believe it or not! Try to relax if you can. If you’re feeling anxious about the carrier because you’re new to babywearing, practice a few times with a demo doll (even a big teddy bear will work!) so that you’re calm and confident when you put your baby up.
Posture
There could be something going on under the surface that we can’t always see. Some joint pain for baby or feeling uncomfortable in certain positions. Sometimes it’s worth taking your little one to see a chiropractor, osteo, or physio to have them checked over. They can get into all kinds of positions in the womb and during birth!
Striking
This particular point applies more to older babies and toddlers. Often a baby will be quite happy to go up in the carrier, and then suddenly refuse or protest. This is colloquially referred to as a “strike”. Sometimes your child will want to be carried, and sometimes they will prefer to explore the world on their own. Don’t sell your carrier just yet! Most parents find that their babies and toddlers go through phases where they need close cuddles, and other phases where they prefer to be more independent.
The Carrier
Last but not least, it really needs to be said: YES, your baby might actually hate your baby carrier. This doesn’t mean babywearing is off the cards for you! Nearly all babies love to be held close to a trusted parent, feeling their heartbeat, keeping safe and warm. But there are a few things that could be preventing the love with your particular carrier:
- Not fitted correctly
- Not the right size (perhaps baby’s legs are over-extended or not knee-to-knee, or the back panel is too high or low)
- Not set up correctly (some carriers can take a bit of learning to get right)
- Just not the right carrier (honestly, some carriers just aren’t designed as well as others)
Babywearing is such a wonderful, practical tool, that enables you to hold your baby safe and close, while going about your day. So let us encourage you to persevere – it IS worth it. And in the meantime, there are always other ways to keep your baby close.
